My little Austin is such a sweetheart.
He has this little baby face, big eyes, and an even bigger heart. And he offers quite frequently to do things for his big brother when big brother just doesn't want to. He helps brother clean up toys he didn't even use, and he takes brother's sippy of milk to the fridge for him when he says he's just "too tired" to do it himself.
Sometimes, I actually find myself wanting to tell him not to be so nice.
And then I realize how terrible that would be to teach a 2 yr old!
I suppose there is a time and a place to teach him not to let his brother take advantage of his sweet-naturedness, but I don't want to push that out before it's even fully developed in him.
My little Austin is also sometimes a stinker.
That kid knows how to throw a temper tantrum! There are definitely two sides to his emotional coin. He recently handed me the coin heads up and taught me a very sweet lesson.
Over the past week there have been several instances where Austy has done something super sweet to help me, without me asking him to, and then reported it to me with the question of affirmation, "How nice is THAT?!" following.
"How nice I put my bowl in the sink!"
"How nice that I put some dishes away for you!"
"How nice is that?!"
I learned 2 things from this cute experience:
1. I must praise myself with words of affirmation in front of them a lot to try and get them to notice that my life as a stay-at-home mom is actually incredibly meaningful and purposeful ;) AND...
2. I might not be praising/noticing all of the good things my boys are doing all of the time.
It is easy for me as a recovering perfectionist to get caught up in the things that need to be improved with my children--how many times things are asked for impolitely, how many moments in a day were spent complaining, how many temper tantrums did we have this week, how many times did I have to ask them to clean up that one little mess, etc.
On days when I am just plain tired, it is easy to become critical, noticing only the things that my children are doing that they know they are not supposed to. And this applies generally to my life as well--not just my kids. When I am tired, it is easy to become critical of everybody, including myself.
But, if I focus on all that could be improved, I miss out on relishing all of the kind, thoughtful, little things people do all around me.
Also, it seems that when I focus on the negative behavior, it begets more negative behavior. When I notice all of the positive things my children are doing, I see them wanting to do more to have that behavior noticed as well.
So this week, my goal is to focus on all the positive behavior of my kids and let them know how much I appreciate it. I want to notice the sweet things they do BEFORE they feel the need to just tell me because I haven't figured it out yet. How nice is THAT?! :)
Comment below with some ideas you have for me in my quest. How do you draw attention to the good things people do around you? How do you express your appreciation to your kids? How do you remember to focus on positive behavior instead of being critical?
Thanks for your help! Love, Robin
He has this little baby face, big eyes, and an even bigger heart. And he offers quite frequently to do things for his big brother when big brother just doesn't want to. He helps brother clean up toys he didn't even use, and he takes brother's sippy of milk to the fridge for him when he says he's just "too tired" to do it himself.
Sometimes, I actually find myself wanting to tell him not to be so nice.
And then I realize how terrible that would be to teach a 2 yr old!
I suppose there is a time and a place to teach him not to let his brother take advantage of his sweet-naturedness, but I don't want to push that out before it's even fully developed in him.
My little Austin is also sometimes a stinker.
That kid knows how to throw a temper tantrum! There are definitely two sides to his emotional coin. He recently handed me the coin heads up and taught me a very sweet lesson.
Over the past week there have been several instances where Austy has done something super sweet to help me, without me asking him to, and then reported it to me with the question of affirmation, "How nice is THAT?!" following.
"How nice I put my bowl in the sink!"
"How nice that I put some dishes away for you!"
"How nice is that?!"
I learned 2 things from this cute experience:
1. I must praise myself with words of affirmation in front of them a lot to try and get them to notice that my life as a stay-at-home mom is actually incredibly meaningful and purposeful ;) AND...
2. I might not be praising/noticing all of the good things my boys are doing all of the time.
It is easy for me as a recovering perfectionist to get caught up in the things that need to be improved with my children--how many times things are asked for impolitely, how many moments in a day were spent complaining, how many temper tantrums did we have this week, how many times did I have to ask them to clean up that one little mess, etc.
On days when I am just plain tired, it is easy to become critical, noticing only the things that my children are doing that they know they are not supposed to. And this applies generally to my life as well--not just my kids. When I am tired, it is easy to become critical of everybody, including myself.
But, if I focus on all that could be improved, I miss out on relishing all of the kind, thoughtful, little things people do all around me.
Also, it seems that when I focus on the negative behavior, it begets more negative behavior. When I notice all of the positive things my children are doing, I see them wanting to do more to have that behavior noticed as well.
So this week, my goal is to focus on all the positive behavior of my kids and let them know how much I appreciate it. I want to notice the sweet things they do BEFORE they feel the need to just tell me because I haven't figured it out yet. How nice is THAT?! :)
Comment below with some ideas you have for me in my quest. How do you draw attention to the good things people do around you? How do you express your appreciation to your kids? How do you remember to focus on positive behavior instead of being critical?
Thanks for your help! Love, Robin
